Phase 6- Love takes chances

So this amazing biker and me continued with our conversations over the phone, rides to Khadakwasla dam, ride with friends in the rain trekking up a hill, ride to a bench far away from home-just to sit and talk and watch the cars and bikes pass by….we spoke over the phone for hours and he said ‘this time I am not letting you go’…I said ‘I have a lot of baggage , I ain’t the girl u met in 2002…I am a divorcee with my depressive issues , do you really want me in your life?’. He said ‘yes, I am sure. I have found a great friend in you, I can speak on any topic with you, I can be myself with you’….it was true we enjoyed being with eachother and we bonded well.

It took me almost a year to finally confirm my love for him. I must admit he is a patient guy. We dated for 4 years. During those times we had our set of ups and downs. We managed to sail through them and finally came to the day 30 November 2014. He was working as a Manager and me as a Teacher. We had our friends and family come bless us and wish us loads of joy and luck.

However, this luck didn’t last too long. Within 4 months of our marriage, on the way back from school I met with an accident. My bike slipped. Had few bruises on my leg, which got healed with time. Then on April 26th 2015, my hubby met with an accident and he fractured his ankle. 2months of struggle and pain and the process towards healing. I was relieved when he recovered and began to walk. By this time, my accident effects started showing up and my back hurt bad. I still remember the date I last corrected my students notebooks …22nd June 2015. I remember signing my name and writing the date below it. That was it , after that I became bedridden with L4-L5 disc prolapse for almost 5 and half months…..

My hubby and me wondered why did life do this to us? Nope, no answer. Life has it’s own surprises I guess.

Well we kept our bond strong during those trial times. I am grateful to him to look after me from bathing me to helping me change my clothes to bearing my terrible pain induced mood swings and grateful to his family who did the best they could from taking me to the doctor to buying me my favourite fruits and vegetables…. I still remember those green pears 🍐 that they would buy for me, then giving me the space I needed at that time. However it wasn’t all glossy. Yes, I agree there were times when they failed to support me and at that time I felt hurt and trapped in that room , bedridden away from my parents……however now when I look back, I feel that’s the best they could do with all the health issues they had. Besides I am not an easy person to live with so I’m sure I must have been terribly irritating during those painful moments.

My caretaker and my dear brother-in-law (who is an almost independent special child) were my best friends at that time. They kept me great company, helped me survive my battle really well. I am grateful for them. Also my relatives who would make sure to visit me and chit chat. My dear cousins who would drop by to talk about all that’s going around. Also special friends who would travel all the way to see me.

This was the time when life taught me about my true friends. It’s such hard times that truly show you, who will stand by you and if they do then how long will they stand by you, who will mock you with words that there is no future for you, who will make sure to be busy with their life and move on.

As the time passed by I began to loose weight, started to walk for five minutes then rest for long hours then five minutes walk, etc. I put up goals on my cupboard that I will walk, loose weight, exercise,etc. It was a tough battle and I felt extremely depressed. However I chose to fight with all the support I had. I began to walk for twenty minutes with rest gaps. I was happy with my progress. But what got left behind was our love. Don’t know when things changed, we stopped talking to eachother like we used to, we could not go out during weekends like we used to, we couldn’t express our love to eachother like we used to. Indeed it was such a stressful time for both of us.

Our blocks of marriage started falling apart. My recovery was slow and I began to fall apart from inside and by August 2016 it was decided that it’s best I join my family for further recovery. I left that place and joined my family in Ambala. Yes, I reached home with a broken heart and a broken back. Yet, my hubby and I didn’t give up for it hurt to be far away from eachother and we were eachothers best friends. We tried. He made sure to visit me twice a year ….so those were our special ten days vacation. Few days to live our love to the fullest.

So dear readers, we never know when life will throw a surprise and rip us off our most loved possessions or most precious moments. That’s why I suggest take a pause from your busy life, keep those gadgets away and live your moments to the fullest with whoever you love. Live your moments mindfully.

Stay blessed, loved and joyful 🌹.

@jen