8th April 2018 #
My dear stubborn egoistic husband and an equally stubborn and borderlined me fought on Sunday afternoon. In my mind that was it. I had too much of all this relationship tension, however somehow my borderline bill (from the offir sasson video on borderline personality) slided onto the happy-go-lucky side and love just bloomed all over again for my stubborn egoistic husband. So what happened was I was frustrated and I needed to distract myself so I went ahead , got all the glasses from the shelf and began washing them one by one. At times I would mindfully wash them but the other times I am thinking about him , how he is keeping me away , not letting this relationship go forward,etc….then I wondered I need to sort this out or else this stress will eat me up healthwise. So after washing the glassed and sorting them beautifully heightwise in the shelf, I called him up and asked him ‘would you like to go out for dinner just like our good old days’. He said ofcourse yes. So we went ahead and fixed meeting up at 7pm at JYOTI RESTAURANT.
My first date after those bed ridden and recovery days of Disc Prolapse.
I was excited to get dressed for this meeting. I wondered what to wear. I took out a nice top and thought I’d wear it my black soft pants but then I remembered I have to climb those stairs at JYOTI. So I wanted to wear something loose down my waist. So I thought of wearing a salwar-kamees but then my eyes fell upon this beautiful blue skirt that my brother had bought me from FABINDIA . I admired that skirt a lot. So I decided to wear that with a white top. Then I went ahead for my refreshing bath and got dressed. I am a person who wears no makeup. So combed my hair, applied a lip balm and sprayed ELIZABETH ARDEN’S green tea perfume gifted to me by my hubby and one last look into the mirror and I said to myself ‘Jen you look gorgeous.’ Off I went hired a rick and sat in the middle of the rick so that my lumbar disc would feel very less jerks and I reached safely. I reached first. Why did I mention that is because when Albin(my hubby) and me dated from 2010-2014 I would always arrive late but this time I made sure to reach early. So I began climbing those ten steps….one by one while everyone looked at me for I was struggling to climb and climbing slowly. Well I am used to it now, previously I would feel handicapped but now I proudly keep telling myself inside my heart. You have come this far just a little ahead..slowly and steadily. So by the time I reached there and said ‘table for 2′ I turned back and saw Albin had reached. Then we decided on a table . The smile , the smile on his face and the little dimple made me feel nice. Made me feel somewhere we still had it in us. That little love. We ordered for pav bhaji……..he ordered for coffee and I ordered for gulab jamuns. They are my favourite. We ate and spoke . We felt like those college kids going on a date. We had come to JYOTI after a long time, almost 3 years. It felt nice. I as usual tried to crack jokes and it lands up to be poor jokes but the point is we laughed. Laughing is good to get off stress. One silly thing that happened was, the waiter came and took the tissue box and I immediately said’ No don’t take it , we need it ‘ and he looked at me and smiled , ‘ Ma’am I am just taking it to put in more tissues’ I laughed and said OHK………silly paranoid me…….worried about the tissues of our table. I wonder how Albin doesn’t get embarrassed by my silliness but maybe 8 years of experience has taught him a lot about this crazy love of his. So we finished our dinner and headed down the stairs with my blue skirt flowing like that of Cinderella’s………..ooooh it felt nice. After that we went to check out for some mobiles while I waited outside the shop since this time the staircase leading to it were too high. There I met this cute doggy who came to me and wished to be cuddled. We both sat and I kept cuddling him talking to him, He enjoyed it. He had nice conditioned smooth hair, and eyes so innocent. I fell in love right there. Soon Albin came , he too loves dogs , he spoke to him too and then we left and while leaving the doggy followed us until the gate. Now going back we gave it a try, what…..our first ride after April 2015. Our nice navy blue vespa and I struggle but eventually sat sideways on it. Oh it felt nice……..holding onto his shoulders and then holding onto his belly. Although the ride was uncomfortable with a twisted position but I managed since my house wasn’t too far from the restaurant. He left me home and then we bid goodbye until next time that is this coming weekend.
So my dear readers love is something that will fade but it is also something that gets ignited again. However in all this procedure of ups and downs if You feel exhausted and that it is taking a real good chunk of your self-esteeem or self-confidence then I’d say it’s better to respect and love yourself than go shredding your soul along a rocky relationship. So take a moment and think are you willing to adjust or be happy with nurturing your own soul. You being sure of your commitment is more important. Take care, until the next blog. (No pics because Albin dislikes taking photos)